Corrupted Hearts Lead to Broken Walls
by SecretPenName
Summary: The world is corrupt. Dirtied. Unclean. Levi's perception of the world has never changed through his many years and experiences. Is there, perchance, someone behind the walls who can help illuminate the shadows created by his past?
1. Tipping Point

(Not so) MANDATORY OPENING! If you don't know or realize I'm kind of new to this whole fanfic thing, but I'll get better. I promise.

I guess I kind of wanted to keep the theme of Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin going so, in honor of that, I'm going to try to make a story with actual characters and plot development! *gasp* Shocker, huh? Well, get to reading!

Best Regards,

Heichou

* * *

This world is cruel; unbearable even in its simplest forms. What it all comes down to, even at the smallest microscopic level, is kill or be killed. That is the rules, always had been the rules, always will be. My own hands are even covered in this wretchedness that's vomited from our own mouths as well as these… things. No matter how many times I scrub them, they'll never be pure. This world… It's unclean. Becoming emotionally unattached from everything is the way to go about living life within the walls. I'm not a believer in stoicism, fate, or that other bullshit people say. I only have one rule: don't become attached; nothing to lose. I learned this the hard way, much like everyone else. It doesn't matter about the position I'm in, nor the position of other people. We all face the same thing in the end.

Titans.

"Just whose mouth are we feeding anyways?" I asked the creatures below the wall, scrounging and hurling themselves at the rocks, hands aching to find a loose hold. "Is it yours, or ours?"

"Technically speaking, it's ours, Levi."

I made a _tch_ sound to show my displeasure as I turned to meet the glint of glasses as the figure leaned over the edge beside me. Her hands reached out as one would if they were pulling someone up from a cliff- only this cliff was a wall meant to not let anyone in. "What?"

"Well," Hanji said, retreating from the edge and turning her face up to meet the light, "they don't exactly _feed _on us per se."

"No need to get all educational on me, Shitty Glasses."

"Man, you need to lighten up. It's like you have a stick up your ass all the time." With that, she flung herself off the edge with a holler of amusement only she could obtain. The buzzing sound of pressure releasing and she arced into the sky, momentarily blocking the moon as she twirled about in pleasure.

"Don't waste all the gas!" I yelled, watching her moment of peace turn to panic as I heard the fated sound of bubbling air escaping the tubes. "Hanji!"

The tips of her toes landed on the edge far to my left and I let out a sigh of relief as she regained her stability. What else should be expected of Zoë Hanji, the Survey Corps' resident nutcase, let alone a subordinate under my command?

"Who knew you had any emotions under that thick skin all along?" She smirked, anchoring herself into place as she walked the thin line between certain death and safety. "I don't understand what's got you so worked up all of a sudden. It's like you're about to burst into an emotional wreck." She paused for a moment, putting on a serious face. "No, that's not right."

"I'm fine, Hanji. Trust me."

"You know we all do."

"I'm sure of it, but don't do something like that again, or next time I'll let you fall."

"Will you?" I looked sideways at the woman next to me who studied the action in every way she knew possible. She was sizing me up, her eyes filling with doubt. How I hated that look; the look of discontent with everything I had done or said. It was the same look as what the other beings called humans gave us when we couldn't do anything but say 'We failed.' It was hope by the time we left again, but surely enough, it was still hidden in their eyes.

"Will you?" she repeated, standing in front of me this time, the brown of her eyes being blocked by a shadow. "You know, I've never told anyone this, but I, once upon a time, considered dropping out of this game."

I tightened my cloak around me, the warmth leaving my body for a second as a cold wind blew between us. "What game?"

She turned her gaze to her maneuver gear at her hips, the scarred metal filling with dirt and other detestable substances from our numerous encounters with the beings from somewhere beyond our world. "Life."

She sighed heavily, pivoting on a foot to face the titans. My breath caught in my throat. "You can't be serious. You, of all people?"

"Mm-hmm. It was more for research purposes, though." She paused again, this time, unclasping the numerous connections of the harness on her tiny waist. Her maneuver gear clanked to the cold stony surface as her face dropped. "Levi, do you think we both end up in the same place when we die? That titans and us are just somehow one in the same?"

I stepped forward, grabbing onto her shoulder tightly, spinning her around. "Hanji, don't do anything stupid," I warned. _Don't become attached. Don't lose anything._

"I'm not, I promise." She said with a smile so fake I could have snatched the mask from off of her skin.

"Hanji, don't-"

"Would you let me fall?" She repeated, dragging her feet backwards with a skittering of pebbles. She smiled again, throwing her head back and letting gravity use her body as a rock.

I couldn't move, my brain wrapping my head around the situation.

"HANJI!" The familiar figure leapt into the air, gearless, after my other subordinate, catching her in the air. A glint of a key and a rush of another green cloak made my heart stop.

_Eren_.

"Heichou, help!" He screamed in fear as they plummeted towards the creatures below.

I leapt after them, ignoring the fact I didn't have much air in my tanks either at the current moment, our latest expedition outside the walls having drained it to little puffs of air. I didn't care anymore. All that mattered was saving them, was saving Hanji, was saving … everyone.

The air rushed past me, a roaring sound of nothing carrying my cries to the night sky. I whipped off my cloak, the green fabric rushing back into the air, making my body as stream-lined as possible, gaining more speed to counter their weight. I reached out and snagged Eren's harness with a hand and brought them closer to me. Being careful not to hit them with the lines (from the last shot I would probably be able to take from the canisters), I pushed the button for discharge, the lines rushed quickly into the stony surface of the wall. The sound of the pressure came to a sputtering, choking halt as my hips were tugged violently in the wall's direction. The section where my gear attached to the harness on my waist began to tear, groaning under the weight of three people-two individuals higher than the maximum occupancy.

"It's breaking!" Eren screamed, ignoring the silent Hanji in his arms. "Heichou…" he whispered.

"Do you not think I know that?!" I screamed back, my brain trying to find a solution to our predicament.

"Heichou…" he repeated, this time stronger.

"What?!" I saw the look on his face as he was trying to fasten his gear to Hanji's. "No, Eren! Don't do something so stupid!"

"Take Hanji. Everyone wants to kill me now anyways." His eyes became cold, a mirror of myself. He took off his necklace and slipped it over Hanji's head.

"I don't, Eren! I don't want anyone to die, especially you!" We dropped a few inches as the leather kept tearing. _The little shit's making me not think straight._

The connecting piece broke free, taking one of the hooks out of the wall with it. I grabbed Eren as we fell, tucking the both of them under an arm as the other grasped the rope tightly. The whipping action of our quick movement made the rope tangle around my forearm. The abrupt stop made it dig into my skin, and a loud _crack_ vibrated in the still air. I let out a cry of pain, but stopped myself short. I was stronger than this. This pain was nothing compared to other things I've been through. Bracing my feet against the wall, I shook under the effort of keeping all three of us up and out of any further danger.

Blood began dripping onto the preciously clean white of my shirt and some splattering into the mass of titans below, exciting them into a mass of writhing pink and white, moaning and calling out for the rope to drop us within reach.

My chest heaved up and down, the adrenaline pumping through my veins at high speeds. Our breath formed in the cool air in front of our faces as I began to hear our names being called through the silence.

"Heichou… You did catch me." Hanji smiled in Eren's arms before returning to a state of near-vegetation as she smiled at her precious titan crowd below, arms dangling uselessly as I fought to keep both of them near.

"Don't. Do something… Like that… again," I huffed, watching Eren's upturned face light up as members of the guard squad leapt into the air over the edge, the lines of their gear streaking the sky like fireworks.

"I won't, Heichou." He grabbed my arm with a cold hand. I shivered against the feeling of overwhelming sense of softness that came from the split second of contact. _Why do I feel like this? It's unpleasant. No, it's not unpleasant. Just… unfamiliar._


	2. What Hurts Most Isn't This

"It's broken."

I bit my fist, looking out at the world beyond my office window in order to keep from hitting the person who was currently 'tending' to me by repeatedly jabbing their finger onto the torn skin. "No shit," I spat, pushing my leg hard into the floor as they poked and prodded some more.

"No need for profanity, Heichou," they suggested, mildly amused at my glare. The girl seemed young with painfully dull eyes, like she had never gotten to live out her childhood before coming here. I wondered, early into our _lovely_ bonding experience over my pain and infliction of said pain, what had made someone with such youth and inexperience with life to come here. Was it forced? Perhaps so, for we were running out of both medically trained personnel and people that were willing to train for it.

"Shut u-" I let out a gasp of air as they pulled on the limb to set it back into place, my vision going blank with pain. "Warn me next time!" My voice was kissed with anger. If I hadn't been facing the other way at the time, surely they would have gotten a fist to the face- regardless of the fact that she was a girl.

They stood up, wandering aimlessly to the other side of the room and grabbed a small red bag on the countertop. "There won't be a next time; it's already been set. I'm not exactly new to this whole doctor affair, Heichou." They unzipped and unfolded the bag, the inside adorned with a multitude of neatly stored and cleaned surgical devices. "However, there are a few lacerations I need to sew up before I can get out of here." They jabbed a syringe into my arm swiftly, the small glass tube filled with an unannounced anesthetic of some kind. This action repeated itself up and down the length of my arm until I could no longer answer the question 'Do you feel this?' _jab _with 'Yes'.

The wooden door to the office burst open quickly to allow for one of the pests who put me in this predicament to thrust open the tiny curtain sheet blocking other visitors for a nice view of me.

"Heichou, are you okay?" Eren grasped the edge of the desk in front of me with his dirtied hands, wrecking the pristineness of the recently polished wood. "They wouldn't tell me where you were at first

Because they thought I was going to be a nuisance, but-"

"The desk," I interrupted, wincing from the needle going through an only mildly-numbed portion of my skin.

The boy stepped back, confused. "What about the desk?" He asked, studying it at a distance.

"You dirtied it."

"Oh, I-" he grabbed the hem of his new shirt and rubbed little circles on the surface until his grimy fingerprints were no more. "I'll clean it properly later, I swear." He added quickly, noting the look of '_Are you kidding me?_' on my face.

The nameless doctor at my arm started wrapping it tightly with bandages, the aged yellow material gathering the excess droplets of blood that came from being sutured. "I'm almost done, here. I just need to wrap you up and I'll be done for the day."

"He'll recover and still be able to use his arm, right?"

I wiggled my fingers a little bit, the numbing agent setting in so I could barely feel them moving in the first place. "Yes, he should be perfectly fine and back to his normal self." At the last word, she knotted the ends of the cloth hard, pinching the skin.

"Bitch," I muttered unkindly in her direction, making sure she could hear it.

Eren let out a sigh of relief, putting a shaking hand to his face. "Thank goodness."

"Yes, oh, thank _goodness_," the little doctor remarked sarcastically, throwing a triangular piece of bandage under my forearm and pulling it up to the height of my chest. "Eren, can I borrow some help from you here?"

"Y-yeah, sure," he agreed wearily, walking out of my view and behind my head where the doctor was currently fixing the strand into place around my neck.

"Just put your finger there while I tie it off, okay?"

I felt the shaky length of his finger touch the skin of my neck, the tip of his finger resting just below my hairline. I shivered subconsciously. I shook it the feeling away, passing it off as the high possibility that it was clean-freak inside of me being reminded of the desk again. This feeling of having one of the most vulnerable places-titan and human alike- be caressed so lightly by something so unthreatening was strange and enlightening. No one touched me unless absolutely necessary, but out of this simple necessity, I was frozen.

"There, all finished." The pair walked around me again as I regarded the useless limb with such utter disappointment in myself for letting it be this way over a crazy woman and a naïve boy. She began packing up all of her belongings, discarding the used needle and leftover thread in the nearby garbage bin. "Well, I can tell you two have some catching up to do, and I have one Miss Hanji to tend to next," she stated, leaving the door open a crack as she left.

"Lock that crazy woman in an asylum or something!" I called after her, hoping she would take my advice to heart.

"Heichou, that's mean."

I crossed my legs, watching Eren play with the key that had been returned to his possession, the bronze colour turning darker the more he inattentively toyed with it between his slender fingers. _He should really clean that_, I thought, but didn't bother to state out loud. "Some would say that stating the truth is far kinder than telling a lie." The Eren boy didn't move to contradict me as he normally would. It concerned me. "What's wrong, Jaeger?"

"Why did she jump?" He asked in response, looking beyond me to the little view I got of one of the walls from my office. "Was it something you said?"

"Something _I_ said? What makes you think that I said something to make her do something like that?" I expressed my discontent towards his assumption by thrusting my good hand towards the wall outside.

"You don't exactly have a delicate way with words."

…_Next time, I'll let you fall_. "I have an amazing way with words, it's part of my personality."

"Right, and you expect me to believe something like that when you were threatening a doctor who was trying to help you?" He shifted his hands in front of his chest and crossed them.

"It's your choice on whom you want to trust or believe; I have no godly influence over you."

"I understand that, but-"

"If you understand, then next time you won't ask such a demanding question regarding your faith in someone, hm?"

Eren let out an angry sound that shook through me chest, countering my unusually cold one. "Why do you always do this cat-and-mouse game of riddles, Levi?" he yelled, and other voices within the thin walls of my office echoed the phrase back. "You think this is a game to me? People are dying, Levi, people I _care_ about, all for the cause- and all you care about sitting all high and mighty above everyone else!"

"Do you not think I have people I cared about lost for this bullshit 'cause' you're talking about?" I demanded, crossing over the room to the boy. I stood in front of him, the height difference not being taken as a factor in my increasing intimidation towards Eren. He backed up slightly and stopped, puffing out his chest in mock strength. "You'd better shut your mouth before I permanently disable it from saying anything else, Jaeger," I threatened, my hand already forming a fist at my side.

"You asshole," he started, his fist backing up and rocketing towards my face. I ducked under it, grabbing the back of his hair with my good hand as slamming his thick skull into my knee. He coughed and sputtered, his nose clearly broken. I brought my knee back up again and under his chin, knocking him onto his ass on the ground.

"Don't ever raise your hands again to me, _boy_, or it'll be the last thing you do."

He got to his feet, and spat a gooey wad of blood towards me which I sidestepped from. "You know what? I do hate you." He slammed the door, leaving me alone in this empty room that was still raised with tension.

I ignored the splatters of blood on the floor from both the boy's nose and my arm earlier and returned to my office chair. Slamming my fist angrily into the wood, my teeth ground together as I cradled my wounded arm close to my chest. I didn't know why someone so inconvenient would show up in my life. Why, of all people did I have to exist as Humanity's Strongest? Surely, there was someone better than me somewhere, just waiting to take my namesake. There was always a back-up. Humanity's Strongest, reduced to nothing but a babysitter for a hormonal teenaged boy and his anger issues. He is Humanity's Hope, sure, but hope can be brought down faster than a knife through butter.

I thought of Eren's resentment, his angry vision towards me and everything I had done to him in the past. Everything I had done- everything was for his survival, not my own. I could care less if I died. My past would be nothing but particles in the wind. I wasn't anyone special; not really. More like a dummy to pin your anger on when you lose someone because I 'wasn't doing my job right'.

The more I thought, the more I became saddened at the fact that there was another person added to the list of people who hate me.

_And Eren, it hurts._


	3. Bloody Floorboards

I don't apologize for the long time between the chapters. Why? I need a break after a long mission that I didn't want to participate in in the first place. Not to mention the paperwork- who the fuck wants to do paperwork about a mission most of us went on? Erwin can kiss my ass after this- wait, no. Then I'd have to go for another shower... (_Maybe I'll make Eren take one, too?) _Eren fucking stinks and all he did was ride a Goddamn horse.

Showers for everyone- that's an ORDER!

* * *

The little shit never _did _come back to clean up his leftover grime from atop my desk.

I would have at least expected him to attempt to redeem his stolen dignity by trying to beat me -a feat he would never accomplish in his current state, might I add. He _is_ the one on the 104th trainees squad known for the best hand-to-hand combat; male division to be more specific. Pathetic, really. Sometimes I wondered what even passed for qualification into the Survey Corps. If he didn't have his titan powers, he wouldn't be able to think about surviving a single encounter beyond the walls. His bright, young, green eyes would have dulled in fear if he had gotten here on normal terms. Then again, he wouldn't be under my care either- If you would call 'disciplinary actions' caring at all. The dirt wedged between the floorboards was of a greater concern than him.

"Speaking of dirt, get the _fuck _out of here," I threatened under my teeth to the miniscule specks of drying blood that were hiding in the far reaches of the grain of the wooden floors. If it wasn't for the earlier incident, I wouldn't have been cleaning for this long. If I hadn't been preoccupied by the blood on the floor, I wouldn't have gotten carried away, noticing every speck of dust that decided to take up the empty space of my bookshelves. Through every nook and crank I had meticulously cleaned- not as well as I should have, but the staining blood was a far greater matter. If I couldn't get this out, it would haunt me through every fleeting look in its direction, every footstep, every measly remark of the word 'dirt' and I would go mental.

I thrust the tiny brush into the soapy bowl and attacked again, scrubbing harshly at the wood beneath me, the liquid spilling and sloshing in all directions with the ferocity of my will to remove it. "Come on, don't be a pain in the ass." I wiped a brow, finally getting the eluding pieces out of hiding; the lukewarm mixture of water feeling cold against the hot skin. Perhaps I have been at this longer than I thought? I was so tired now, as was the sun that barely peeked over the giant wall of the city. I could no longer feel my feet as they rested underneath me uncomfortably, the tingling starting in my toes already as I regained notice of the numbness.

I heard the footsteps outside the door and then the deep, hearty chuckle that occurred after the door opened without my permission. "I thought you wouldn't get on your knees for anyone?" The huge figure loomed in the doorway, a big shoulder against the framing.

I slammed the brush into the water, sending most of the water over the edge as the bowl swayed back and forth to keep upright. The liquid bubbled and spread underneath my knees, turning the pristine white of my pants to a see-through pinking colour. With a squeak of my boots, I got to my feet and pulled the bandana I had tied around my face in place of a mask to my neck.

"I swear to fuck if you take one step into this room with your filthy ass boots, you won't have appendages left to stand _on_." I wasn't lying, but then I wasn't telling the truth either. I wasn't going to kill him in here- not after the bloody massacre that I had just finished cleaning from the floorboards. I wasn't looking for more self-punishment than I had just endured.

"I promise," Erwin stated, smiling as he put his hands up in mock surrender before folding them in front of his giant chest.

_How the fuck did he get so big when I'm so_… I looked down at my small frame. Why did he even choose to save me back then – because I knew how to use maneuver gear better? He certainly didn't hesitate putting me into the field after that. He trusted me, and I wanted to kill him. Funny how life works, hm? You trust me, and I plot to stab you in the back.

"I have an update about Hanji." The giant in the doorway flipped through his wide collection of notes and papers in his arms to produce a mass of sheets with hastily written ink smudged here and there. For a strategic organizer and planner, sometimes he wasn't all that perfect.

"Oh? Is the bitch still trying to jump off walls and break her neck?" I asked, snatching the papers from his hand only moments after he extended it my way.

"Don't be so cruel, she trusted you and she was testing it- according to her therapist anyways."

"Again with the trust shit," I murmured under my breath, flipping through the papers, trying to find the main point to all the scribble.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Erwin cleared his throat and adjusted the papers before returning to the main point of his visit. "Hanji is fine and is stuck in the base away from titan activity until her mental state recovers. She won't be going on any missions until this whole issue clears up."

I made a humming noise from behind my lips, mocking curiosity and the intent of paying attention. "So interesting."

"Are you even listening, Levi?"

I flipped the paper, looking at him briefly. "Of course I am," I stated sarcastically before returning my gaze to the words-if one could call these words.

"What the fuck is with you lately? You seem more crude and arrogant than usual." I didn't pay him any attention, searching through words that popped up at random through the black masses: a little 'deranged' here, a bit of 'restricted' there. "Levi?"

My eyes caught sight of Eren's name on the record as Erwin tried to grab the paper from my hands, but my reflexes kicked in, sending it further into the confines of the room that he refused to trespass into.

**Eren is incapable of surrendering his feelings of anger towards the titans willingly. He refuses to accept therapeutic help, mainly because of his fear towards his leading officer, Levi Ackerman. His fear leads him into uncontrollable anger directed towards the subject when confronted about it and does not allow for any more conversation. This reaction may occur not from fear but some underlying emotions he has not come to terms with, such as in the case with –**

The papers were violently retched from my grasp and back into Erwin's possession. "Hey!" I turned violently to meet him, taking a flimsy step towards him due to my incapability of getting rid of the tingly feeling on the soles of my feet. "I told you not to step foot into this room with your fucking-" I looked down to the single foot that hand entered my domain. He twiddles his toes encased in the white sock and my eyes flitted back to the discarded boot.

"Loop holes are a pain in the ass and I always find one."

"What's Eren's name doing in that report?" I gestured to the stolen paperwork, ignoring the bootless foot in front of me.

"I must have accidentally given you one of the wrong file papers."

"As his _caretaker_," I used the word lightly, "don't I have the authority to know everything about him to find out details like possible trigger points to protect humanity?" I spewed bullshit as fast as I could so he didn't have time to register what I was saying was false.

"Levi, some things-"

"Where is he?"

"Who?"

"Don't play the fucking pronoun game with me, Erwin. You know who the Hell I want."

"I don't understand why you need to see hi-" he let out a grunt of pain as the heel of my boot landed harshly onto his uncovered one.

"Where. Is. He?" I repeated.

"Outside somewhere- probably training like always." I released my foot and he moved aside when I went through the doorway, discarding my bandanas as I went. "That was fucking unnecessary, Levi."

I needed to find out what was going on with him. Why did he fear me? Was it something I did- what I was going to do? I didn't understand what was compelling me to find one boy in the growing darkness of the evening. He wasn't anyone special and neither was I. Then why was I transfixed on finding him when all I did was scare him? My mind muddled with thoughts I didn't understand, feelings I didn't want to feel, heartbeats I didn't want to quicken.

"Levi, I don't think it's safe to see him right now!"

_I don't care._

"Levi!"

_I'm not so safe either._


	4. The Gaping Distance

"Levi, seriously! Come back!"

The loud, clumsy footsteps of my superior bounding along on one foot echoed down the empty hall. He struggled to simultaneously chase after me and put back on his discarded boot, putting out a hand as if to draw me back with the telekinetic powers he didn't have. I didn't understand the severity of the action I was committing, but my mind was unresponsive. I only cared about Eren and his apparent distain for my very being. It was drawing him back from his true potential as a Corps member- not to mention the fact he was angry for me, at me, and it _really _pissed me off.

"Fuck it," he swore under his breath, stopping with the consciousness that he couldn't catch me even if he tried.

My fleet-footedness and cold demeanor made everyone move around me, splitting like water over a rock. I could care less what they thought. If Eren was to lose control after out encounter- as possibly stated in the small section of psychological interpretation I had read- I had to be there to put him down.

_Put him down?_ Of course; it has to be done.

I reached outside and apparently dinner had just been finished for the mass of young trainees and veterans alike shoved their way from the eating pavilion. I pushed the stragglers away from my path, those in direct conflict with my mission; having absolutely no realization that they were potentially screwing with the survival of humanity.

"Hey! What's up your ass?"

"-the fuck?"

"Bastard."

I ignored it all, quickening my pace. They would regret their words later- if there was a later.

I grabbed the first familiar face I spotted through the crowd, and pushed the taller male into the stone wall, away from the traffic in the middle of the walkway. "Where's Eren?"

"H-Heichou Levi? What are you talking about? He was with you a second ago."

I backed off slightly and crossed my arms. "Obviously he's not here now. Kirstein, I don't have time for bullshit. If you want a home to go back to, tell me where he is or someone who _does _know." My brow twitched in irritation as I waited for a response, my foot tapping anxiously in anticipation.

Jean ran his fingers through his ash-brown hair on the top of his head, his brown eyes narrowing in thought. He was panicking, as told through the way his eyes refused to meet mine.

"Kirstein!"

"Sorry, sorry." His hands slipped down, aiming to defend me through a barrier made of slender fingers. "I don't know- but Mikasa! She might know where he is!"

"Where is she?"

He looked around nervously, his pragmatic attitude wanting anything but to be hurt by me in this situation. "G-Guys! Do you know where Mikasa or Eren is?"

I followed his gaze sharply as he waved his arms around to draw the pack of 104th division trainees to his aid. The pack of misfits, more like.

The tall girl known as Ymir cradled the young blonde under her arm protectively, seeing that I was the one causing Jean Kirstein's misery. "I don't know," she stated simply, pulling the small girl behind her. The girl behind her shook her head quietly.

The kid, who was only slightly smaller than I, rubbed his clean-shaven head as he thought. "No idea."

I was beginning to lose all hope with this troop.

"Mikasa ran out during dinner." The young blonde boy noted suddenly. Armin, was it? The one who always clinged to Mikasa and Eren's side. Yes. That was definitely the same kid I read in the report from the titan incident before Eren came into our possession.

"Yesh, I fink I shaww gem outfide," said the girl with the obviously full mouth and an armful of assorted breads and meats that would soon suffer the same fate at the rate the was devouring them.

"Swallow," I commanded and the girl did with minor hesitation.

"I think I saw them outside by the track- though it's getting kind of dark, so it might have been anyone." She looked down at her food again, wearily. A thin strand of saliva bubbled at the corner of her mouth as her mind raced to keep in control lest I ask another question.

I started back up in a hurried jog, moving quickly to my target. It was farther than I thought to get to my destination. Perhaps because I wasn't one who frequented this area as much as I did the training grounds within the forest that was littered with mock-titans. I wasn't in the mood to be surrounded by the enormous mass of people who longed to at least glimpse my abilities, but were cowards; resorting to flocking to my side and shouting their praise at me along with the inability to find enough balls to actually answer their own questions about the outside world by going out there themselves.

I approached a figure made of a silhouette against the darkening sky.

"Eren?" Oh, fuck was I wrong. The scarf-brandishing female came closer, a storm in every step.

"How _dare _you lay a hand on Eren?"

"Ackerman," I stated simply, folding my arms against my chest. Man, it was strange saying my own last name to someone else other than my previous mentor. Then again, no one has really heard my full name, nonetheless want to know it. Not that it bothered me.

"How dare you treat him like a piece of shit- like he's nothing?" The girl screamed at me, her anger flowing out through the same method as I assumed Eren was doing currently- through violent screams and wreaking havoc about them. She unsheathed the blades of the maneuver gear she currently hand on, something that she shouldn't have in her possession in the first place. I instantly became aware of my lack of protection, but remained unwavered.

"I treat him like he treats himself and others. I will not change that until he changes his own damn attitude."

"I'll kill you!"

"Just fucking try to."

"Levi!" She started at me, running no less. I swirled away from her attack. In the process I noticed she had no gas canisters on her gear at all. All she had was boxes to weigh her down and the blades to slash for my throat. She stumbled and slashed, twirled around with the blades glinting in the light of the emerging moon. Her moves were flimsy with rage and predictable, following the same actions again and again.

_Duck._

_Slide._

_Move. _

_Step back. _

_Repeat._

She swung for my neck again and I ducked, smashing a hand into the inside of her forearm, stunning it. Seeing the opportunity, I grabbed the arm and turned it with me around her back. Using the momentum and angle her arm was twisted in, I kept turning her hand until she screamed in pain and dropped the blade into my open hand to which I let her go. Trapped within the short length of the chord that held the blade to her gear, I expertly dove under her previously trapped arm and brought the blade to her neck while my other hand caught the hand that was currently going for mine. I pressed harder, forcing her to extend her caught arm outward to avoid getting her jugular cut wide open.

Quickly, I squeezed her wrist tightly, feeling her muscles tense to try and fight the urge to drop the only weapon she had left. Her face pained and began breaking down into tears as she dropped it to the ground. She eyed me viciously as I unclasped the gear from her waist, keeping a steady-handed blade against her uncovered throat.

I backed off, putting the gear on my own harness. Gear with or without air, I had to get Eren to calm down before he turned and killed everyone. I was willing to risk my life for the sake of my subordinates- was he prepared to waste his own for a futile outbreak of fear and resentment?

"Where is he?"

No response, only the disgusting action of spitting my way. The great glob landed on the toe of my boot and I made a disapproving noise. "Have it your way."

I heard a giant scream of fury erupt from the tall line of trees on the edge of the training grounds, birds fleeing for their lives from the treetops from whatever had happened before. Human, for now, it seemed. I stood there, unmoving. It couldn't be happening right now. He couldn't have waited until I was there to save him? I realized that I wanted to save him now, not my original intent of killing him straight away and burning the chapter in my book that involved the idiot whom had appeared as suddenly into my life as he was going to disappear into the exterior of a monster I knew all too well.

I ran off in the direction, leaving the horrified looking Mikasa collapsed on her knees as she realized she could no longer do anything. "Eren!" she screamed in horror, tears streaming down her face.

"Eren!" I echoed, my voice scratching its way up my throat as I ran in his direction.

_Don't be an idiot. Eren._

_Let me save you._


	5. In My Hands

"Eren!" I shouted again, the voice reaching everywhere and nowhere fast in the denseness of the forest in front of me. The sounds of frightened birds filled the air as I broke through the tree-line. My eyes scanned the area fast; hoping, praying that I would find the tiny frame of a boy instead of one in the shell and form of a titan.

_Don't be too late. Don't let another one go because of another bad decision. Don't let someone else die_.

"Eren, answer me!" My mind was in a panic. If he turned, he might try and turn on the rest of us humans. I wouldn't- couldn't- let that happen. Our lives were far greater than his… weren't they?

I ran through the trees, dodging some branches while others grabbed at my harness with the same franticness of my movements. I needed to find him- I needed to be there. No one else was allowed to stop this and if I didn't, everyone would die and the same conceited look of horror and disgust would once again fall on me and my dirtied hands. I stopped, spinning in place to find signs-broken sticks, footprints, flattened grass- of Eren's movements. Without any gas in these canisters, I was practically useless, but somehow I would have to find a way.

The woods went quiet and the earth stood still as I did. Everything about the area was wrong and the air grew as thick as honey with the sound that rumbled through it. The loud roar started as nothing but a faint rushing noise like water down a rocky stream and grew to a trembling noise of anguish that sent splinters of bark from the trees to fly towards me. The ground shook feverishly, buckling my knees as the noise became louder and louder, vibrating my eardrums to the point where I could hear nothing but that horrible sound. _I was too late_, I thought, throwing my hands to the ground. _I failed_.

The giant footfalls racked the ground towards me, with each increasing step my body jumped that much higher off the ground. The trees told me where he was before my eyes registered the giant form as they bowed around him, falling into place into asymmetrical piles on the ground. The leaves fell around him in large chunks as he stood there, breathing heavily, watching me with those bright green eyes.

Now that the ground had stopped shaking along with his movements, I stood, facing the titan form of Eren as he glowered over me with fists clenched tight at his side, a wooden training titan head in one of them. "Eren, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" I yelled upwards, hoping he could hear and understand me even in his delicate situation. Despite his lack of lips I could tell he was scowling as he let out a growl. I hoped he could tell just how furious and disappointed I was; then hopefully he would come out of his own accord. _Or I would have to… I would have to… kill… Eren._ My heart sank. Why did such a measly act of thought hurt so much? He wasn't anyone special- he was my job, that one brat who followed me around like a lost child looking for guidance, my threat.

"Stop fucking around and get out of that form before someone gets hurt!" _before you get slain._ "Seriously, Yeager, come out!" _before I have to slay you. "Get down here!" before we both slay ourselves._

The titan Eren before me cocked his head for a moment, watching me curiously like a dog as my hands tightened against the handles of the blades. His jaded eyes became sad, pleading as he continued looking- just looking. What did he want? A reward for doing what he was told?

"Eren, if you don't listen, I'll have to-"

The ground shifted as he did, bending forward suddenly, his head coming straight for where I was. I threw the blades into the standard position; one flipped to rest along my forearm so that they ran in the same direction. If he was really coming for me, all I would need to do was spin and hopefully harm him enough to cause a distraction so I could end it without him realizing. The forest bed around me jumped as the two large hands rested on either side of me. He was on all fours, seemingly groveling with his head bend towards the earth, not even bothering to look if he had enough time to say his goodbyes.

The giant head suddenly reared up, the green eyes twinkling with tears that had yet to be shed. I didn't know what to say, what to do. I just stood there, hoping for an indication. Eren must have seen my immobility, and raised a giant hand to swipe away the long straggling hairs from the back of his neck. He growled and put his head back down.

"Can't you get out?"

Eren's head raised again, and nodded.

"Then why the fuck don't you? You want to be killed- is that it?"

He shakes his head slowly. His eyes brimmed with tears again, this time his mouth trying to formulate words he couldn't say. Instead, he opened his mouth wider, his large teeth coming closer to my body. I tense again, ready to move at the last second and finish this. "Eren, don't."

His tongue snakes out and reaches me, licking from my boot up to my face. I recoil from the action, my instinct to slice the muscle from his jaw tickling my nerves. Eren's mouth moves again, struggling hard to make sensible words come out, but nothing but a purr escapes through his teeth. I wipe the slimy liquid from my face with the back of my hand as he keeps trying to say whatever it is he wanted to get across.

I ignore the feeling of uncleanliness as I approach the boy who was currently suffering with an internal dilemma. "Stop and just come out and tell me, Brat. I'm sure it's a lot easier than trying to do… whatever it is you're trying to do."

I put a hand on the boy's hand (a comforting action I've done many times to dying subordinates over many years), and just look at him as he purrs at the touch. "I'm not going to kill you, trust me." He nods his head in affirmation. "Just don't move, and I won't cut you… much." He nods again, his head lowering in defeat.

I jump up quickly on his arm, moving up it and resting just above the shoulders. I knew where to cut; I knew what to do… I just didn't want to harm him. I jabbed the blade in quickly without a second thought, slicing into his skin with a burst of hot steam. Eren howled in pain beneath me, trying his hardest to stay still, his hands picking up dirt as he scratched at the unsullied ground beneath them as he curled and uncurled them. They suddenly went limp, and I grabbed Eren's form as he was ejected into the open air in a thick cloud of condensation. I pulled him out of and off of his discarded shell; holding the larger boy closer to my body, counting all his limbs and digits present (due to my last-minute modification of the emergency cutting technique). I held him to my chest as I lowered him to the ground, resting his head in my lap until he regained consciousness.

"Eren," I whispered, hovering my hand over the small boy's cheek. I pulled it back quickly, regarding it as if it was foreign to me. Why did I suddenly have the urge to do that? The quietness of the area disappeared again as the mist of hot air rose into the starry sky as Eren's titan body collapsed and withered away as if it had never been.

"Heichou…?" Eren stirred beneath me, his eyes clouded with grogginess as he attempted to open them. "I- I'm…"

"Shut up, brat," I said softly, raising my head to look at the stars. "Whatever needs to be said, can wait."

_Maybe then I can make sense of these abnormal behaviours of ours._


	6. Apologies on Hand

"He shouldn't have been here!"

"If it weren't for Heichou-Levi, we'd all be dead!"

"Fucking kill him already!"

The phrases repeated at a constant rhythm of angry cries and pointed fingers emanating from the mob that stood huddled in front of me. The unfortunateness of this situation that had come to be- due to the stupidity of one Eren Yeager- was that my perfectly clean office had become dirtied from the soles of muck-ridden boots from members of squadrons that were not under my control. My bucket of soapy water, or rather what was left of it, had been kicked elsewhere in the room, hidden from my sight. I had half a mind to tell them to start cleaning this instant, but I doubted most of these men would come back after I ordered them to fetch their cleaning utensils- if they even knew what they were by the looks of their uniforms. Don't get me wrong, there were women in the room, but they were seemingly more observant than their male counterparts- at least enough to notice my discontent to back out of the room rather than focus on a fear and testosterone-driven manliness test that was in here.

With the outside of my index fingers pressed firmly against my lips, I hunched over the desk quietly. Not particularly interested in anything that these dirt monkeys were saying-or rather, _yelling_- in my direction, I just observed. I'd let them speak their fill; until I got bored of it.

One soldier in particular caught my attention- mostly due to the heavily dirtied white pants that screamed to be bleached. "He could have killed us all if he wanted to!" He slicked his greying hair back with a layer of sweat being brushed onto the hopeless pants, then pointing a greasy finger behind me. You would have thought for an older man, he would have much more respect for cleanliness and personal hygiene. Perhaps he didn't have a wife to care for him or tell him to do some bathing every once in a while.

_Who was he pointing at? Oh, right._ I had completely forgotten about the shivering boy behind my chair, clinging only to my presence for protection. I had carried him over my shoulder back towards camp, only to have the proceeding group of self-righteous ass kissers come to aid in the protection of their home base. Of course, I had ignored them completely, only they took that as 'please, _do _follow me back to my office and dirty it'. These questions of why and why not weren't much different than those at his court hearing, and of course there were those that weren't convinced I could handle Eren's power. In all honesty, I didn't know if I could either, but that was a problem for a later date. For now, all was safe, and Eren in full control.

I looked at Eren out of my peripheral, the shaking mass of innocence that was the brat stood there simply, wringing his hands nervously amongst themselves. I wondered briefly if his hands were as calloused as mine. Of course, mine would be far worse, having many more years of life over him, but rather if they were as smooth as I thought they would be. _Are they like the softness of woman's touch or the roughness of a dog's paw? _I mentally shook my head free of the thought. _Why am I thinking like this? It's not normal._

"Are you fucking done standing around screaming because your balls are still too small or what?" Half of the room stopped moving, letting out a gawk of surprise or, in my opinion, the realization of truth. "Did you not here me?" I asked to the remaining members of room-dirtiers. Upon saying this, I realized most of these faces were new, and most likely sought the image of Humanity's Strongest they held dear somewhere in the vast abyss of their tiny skulls. Too bad most of these people hadn't been brave enough to value a life more than their own.

"H-Heichou, isn't t-hat a little… rude?" The tiny whisper of a voice echoes from behind my chair.

"Why the fuck would I give respect to those who come in for the sole purpose of trying to bust my balls and dirty my office?"

"Why don't you just kill 'im?" The man in front, probably around his early thirties, spoke up, causing a tiny cheer of agreement from some invisible people in the back of the room and in the hall. He was married, by correspondence from the way his pocket had a tiny corner of a picture attempting to escape and the tiny engraved ring around his finger. "If you kill 'im, all our troubles will go away!" The crowd cheered, louder this time.

"Thank you. We're all refreshed and energized from your obviously unique point of view," I said sarcastically, gesturing to the room. "Now, as you can see, the situation is under control- _my_ control. And by _my _authority I'll say when Eren Yeager shall die."

"Who gives you the authority anyways, you puny little shit?"

I rose from my chair violently, sending it backwards to knock against the wall, hurting the stiches holding my arm together in the process. I was just about to cross the room to beat the shit out of the speaker when a new voice appeared, pushing their way through the crowd.

"I do, as does Commander Pixis." Erwin pushed through the last layer of people near the front, dragging along one very concerned looking and oddly quiet Hanji. "And if any of you have a complaint, give them to me, not attacking Mr. Yeager or Commander Levi in when they were doing their job."

"Doing their job?!" A woman's voice piped up, trapped somewhere in the midst of tall people clustered around the middle. "You call almost _killing_ us a job?"

"That is for Miss Hanji to explain." Even I was surprised that the suicidal idiot would try to offer up an explanation for Eren's mistake. _Sure, put your head on the pike for them._ "Go ahead, Hanji," Erwin encouraged her to speak using a relatively harsh pat on the back.

Hanji's voice was small and meek when she finally opened her mouth. "I… um…" Echoes of 'what?' and 'I can't hear her!' came from the back of the crowd. She straightened her back and with an air of confidence that only Shitty Glasses was able to adhere to, spoke again. "Mr. Eren Yeager was conducting testing for my research in the training forest last night as a direct result of my research- research that was carefully monitored by Levi –I mean, Heichou Levi- in case of any loss of control. As you can clearly see, the test did not go out of control and no person was harmed."

The hoarse calls of "Bullshit!" came from everywhere in the room.

"Upon inspection in the aftermath, did you not see the broken head of a titan training model near the skeleton of Eren Yeager's titan form?" Erwin spoke up, putting a hand on Hanji's shoulder. "If you must know, Mr. Yeager was in the process of attempting to use combatant techniques and further exploration of titan capabilities in order to fully commit to his role to protect all those within these walls. You should be thanking him, really." He placed his other hand firmly on Eren's shoulder and pulled him between him and the crowd. "Without this boy's existence, you and your families would most likely be sitting in a pile of titan upchuck while humanity dwindles to nothing because he wouldn't have plugged up the hole in the wall."

The room went quiet.

"Now, if you will excuse me, I will be in my office if any further questions that were raised weren't answered. If not, I kindly urge you to leave this office and return to your designated positions or to your training schedule. Thank you." The monstrous form of Erwin and the tinier one of Hanji split the room in half, making them file out; some still exclaiming their prophecy of Eren's future chaotic outburst and some in shocked silence.

"What are you waiting around for? Did you want me to usher your asses out and hold your hands down the hall?" I asked the stragglers who seemingly wanted nothing more in the world than to stand and gawk at the legendary titan-shifter. "Get the fuck out," I demanded, pointing to the door.

Once the last few left and the door was closed, I sighed loudly, rubbing the bridge of my nose.

"Thank you… Heichou." The squeaky, unsure voice near the window stated, turning my attention towards him.

"Eren," I started, turning towards him. His hand was already in a salute over his heart, his eyes blank. "If you're going to do that, put feeling into it. Otherwise, don't do it at all."

Eren snapped back into existence. By the way he looked at me, I could tell he was still angry, but it was being overruled by his sense of obligation. "Sorry, Heichou."

"No, Eren. I'm the one who should be offering you an apology." Eren's eyes met mine briefly and my breath stopped. His eyes were widened in disbelief, emphasizing the actual hugeness of his bright green orbs. I blinked back into my original purpose of the statement. "I don't apologize very often, and this will be my only exception, so listen well, brat."

"Heichou…"

"I didn't trust you last night. I thought like all of these deadbeats in here a moment ago- I thought you were going to lose control and I wanted to say, to you alone, that I admit I was wrong."

Eren's eyes clouded over with the image of the leader he once knew to the one who sought his forgiveness now. "But Heichou, I-"

"I don't care _why_ you did it. Frankly, I don't give a fuck as long as you don't do any stupid shit like that again. Just, I didn't trust someone on my own team who trusts me. That abuse shouldn't be tolerated." I raised my bad arm with a wince –mostly because it was my non-writing hand- and put the fleshy bit of my thumb into my mouth and bit down, drawing blood. I hissed at the taste of blood, feeling it slip into my throat with a coppery aftertaste.

"Heichou, why – why did you do that? You said you apologized, that was enough for anyone!" The idiot rushed over and took my hand into his, wrapping it quickly in the extra bandages he carried in his back pocket for when he did this sort of thing.

"That, brat, makes us even," I said, snatching my hand back into my own possession. I left the room, leaving behind a very stunned looking subordinate.

_His hand… it was so smooth._

I touched the hand gingerly, feeling my pulse under the stabbing pain. _Why the fuck did I just do that?_


	7. Saving our Humanity

I snapped up in my bed, my eyes stuck together in the corners from the tiny amounts of sleep that resided by them. Sleep hadn't left my fingers as they numbly wiped them away, the callused tips doing their job- though I couldn't exactly feel that to confirm it yet. I wiped a hand through my sweat-soaked hair, the strands collecting into tight bunches of knots as I wrestled through them. The small rustle of the curtain brought my attention to the unfocused layer of moonlight cascading through the open window and onto my body- the light making the skin of my chest paler than I remembered in the mornings. My body was hot; the cool breeze coming through the window wasn't relieving enough, it seemed. I was tense, not of my own accord, but of my mind's; my hands clawing their way over my arms to wipe away the remaining jitters. I brought a leg closer to me and felt the familiar rustling of blanket on my limbs. I rested my forearm on a knee, my fingers still trembling with shock. I couldn't even remember what the dream was about, but feeling upon the horrible sense of falling, I had woken up. Perhaps my body just wasn't as fatigued as my mind was. I felt an annoying tingle as a sweat dropped from my hair and down my neck, trailing effortlessly across my skin. I rubbed it away annoyingly with a hand then back up to the source. I hissed in pain and pushed the opposite hand against it.

"The fu-?" I removed the hand and was instantly reminded of the giant crescent-shaped wound on my hand. The bandage must have been removed in my sleep; the coil of blankets wrapped around my lower half suggested it was probably not the most restful one I'd had in a while. I was glad, at least, that the wound on my arm had healed up quite nicely over the past few days. A few more and the bitchy doctor would get to have the satisfaction of pulling out the stitches.

I wondered what had gotten me up in the first place- besides the falling sensations, of course. I looked about the room for any signs, but found nothing but the stacks of paperwork that were strewn about the room- the same ones I had been working on for hours before. The bed never beckoned me most nights; there was far too much to do beforehand in regards to reports and finalizing Erwin's strategies to be used outside of the walls.

It was, I assumed, around three o'clock in the morning; using my experience with this familiar sensation of hazy fatigue many nights before. _Apparently I'm not allowed to sleep away these tired eyes. _My ears perked up to the sound of movement outside the door, resonating down the hallway in the silence of the night. The continuous sound of the person's boots clicked against the stone floor. By the sounds of it, they were trying to keep light on their feet in order to not get caught. As the sounds grew nearer, I whisked away the blankets, getting closer to the door to press an ear against it. The person, whoever it was, was outside my door; the rushed nasally breathing vibrating against the door. I paused, waiting for a sign as to whom it was and whether or not it was actually someone from the Corps standing outside my chambers. The breathing stopped and started walking away. I rushed to unlock the multitude of locks, opening the door quickly. I was greeted by a black figure down the hall, some doors away. Without the proper lighting and closed doors, I was unable to make out who it was. They weren't very tall at least, but definitely wider than they should have been; their body creating a very triangular form in the darkness.

"Oi." I stated, crossing my arms over my chest.

The figure jumped, startled at the sudden voice. It took off running in the opposite direction; though the distinction of legs was not clearly visible.

First instinct, run outside. Second instinct, chase the escaping silhouette down the hall.

"Oi!" I repeated, louder this time. They ducked down a hallway, the fear of being found out corresponding with the quickness of their movement. I ran down an opposing hallway, hoping that they were stupid enough to not know the shortcuts around here. I leaned against the wall near the corner, hearing the sound of footsteps approaching rapidly. _Apparently they _are _stupid _enough. As the figure came into view I swung around the corner violently, grabbing them by the collar and, resisting their momentum, pushed them backwards and against the wall; my forearm at their neck.

My expression was as confused as the other person's was shocked. "Eren?" I let go of his collar, stepping back to get a good view of him. He had his blanket wrapped tightly around his body, explaining the strange triangular proportions of his silhouette. He was still fully clothed, as if he hadn't actually gone to bed in the first place.

"Heichou, what are you doing up?" He paused, looking me over quietly. "And shirtless?"

I cocked my head at him, making sure the stupidity of that question wasn't for real. "You woke me up. What the fuck are you doing walking around in a blanket?"

"I couldn't sleep so-"

I interrupted him with a sharp inhale. "Obviously," I said, disinterested. I was having more fun watching the stones be cut to repair the wall. "What are you doing _walking around_?" I added, hinting at the answer I wanted.

"Walking around, sir? That's what people usually do when they can't sleep."

"Cut the bullshit, Eren," I warned, the sudden snappiness in my voice making him jump. "You're supposed to be locked in the dungeon downstairs- sleeping or not. How did you get out?"

The taller boy sighed heavily, the look of guilt crossing his face as he avoided my intense stare. He bit his lip nervously, making my breath catch silently in my throat. He looked directly at me now, trying to control his apprehension before he spoke. "Hanji gave me a spare key. She said something about wanting the 'free-range' effect."

"How did Shitty Glasses get-" I didn't want to think about her scavenging for the key in my room in order to create a duplicate. Especially since where it was hidden wasn't the most convenient of places for a subordinate to look. "- just… nevermind." I pinched the bridge of my nose between my forefinger and thumb, the feeling taking my mind off a dirty person rummaging through my underwear drawer.

"Is it still sore?" The small voice in front of me asked, his teeth biting back down on his lip again.

I hoped if I kept repeating the action, I would forget that he was doing it. "Is what still sore?"

"Your hand. I don't feel it for very long before it starts healing. I almost forget what it's like to heal like normal." He reached out, taking my hand in his and turning it over thoughtfully in his slender fingers. The tips traced the line of my teeth and I snapped my hand away, leaving his empty and frozen mid-action.

"Don't touch your leaders," I spat out, my mind unable to think of an excuse that was good enough to appease him.

Eren's head cocked, watching my face closely. "Heichou, are you afraid?"

I gasped back air. _Me? Afraid?_ "What kind of shit are you on, Yeager? What do I have to be afraid of?"

"Getting close to people."

I couldn't utter a word. Instead I stood there, staring at him blankly, hoping I could pull off my 'bullshit' face even though the brat was right.

"Why are you so afraid of being attached to everyone? That's what being human is about, right? Interaction and appreciation of other humans?"

_Don't become attached; nothing to lose_.

"What did you say?" Eren asked earnestly. It was then that I realized I had said it out loud.

"Don't become attached; nothing to lose. I've seen far too many friends and family die in this role. Just knowing it could happen again… I don't want it." I stepped back from the advancing Eren, putting up my guard of voided emotion.

"I've seen it, too, but…" He looked up, the glittering green eyes hollow and full of sadness as he spoke. "The one thing I'm afraid of is losing my humanity to the titan. I know I'm not a monster on the inside, but people treat me like it. Besides Mikasa and Armin, I don't really have anyone who wants to get close to in order to fear losing them."

For the first time since I had taken him into the Corps, I saw him well up with tears. My mind was blank, and for the first time in a long time, I neared him.

"Eren. You're human; no matter if you're have a titan body, as long as you have humanity in mind, you'll always regarded as human to me."

"But Heichou-"

I grabbed his collar once again, pulling him downward towards me, causing his eyes to widen in fear. I could feel the warmth of his breath brushing the top of my lip as I felt his green orbs stare back into my hardened grey eyes. "Eren, shut up." I moved up the last few centimeters of space so our lips touched. I pressed hard, shutting out the sounds of Eren's mumbled words beneath the kiss. In that one kiss, I pushed all the feelings of doubt and isolation away. In that one kiss, we broke the veil between master and servant. In that one kiss… I proved I loved him. I hoped with the shattering of my cold heart, that this wouldn't be the last time to prove our melancholy love; so strong in each other's mind and eyes, and yet so fragile as the whisper of humanity in the air of our time.

In this moment, we found ourselves wrapped in each other's embrace, tongues racing over tongues, lips fighting for control, hot breath reaching for the air. My arms were tightly wrapped around Eren's shoulders; his hands clambering around to touch the skin of my chest.

Eren broke the kiss, a strand of saliva connecting us still. He gave a quick smile, one that I had thought had been lost to the freedom he had long ago. "Heichou," he said breathlessly, his lips hesitating to return to mine.

"Come." I grabbed him by his wrist, dragging him back from where we started, fighting the urge to crash into another series of kisses on the way there.

"Heichou?! Where are we-"

"My room."

"Eh? But- Why?"

I pulled him close, outside of the door. "I'm going to make love to you, and I'm never going to let you go. Not now, not ever."

"I was hoping you wouldn't."

* * *

Now, if it wasn't obvious enough, the next chapter will have some... things... happen. Don't like, don't read.

Why the fuck were you reading this story in the first place then?


	8. Entwined Fate

His kiss was sweet, like the greatest of teas. The slight hesitation in his actions make me chuckle between shaky breaths as the door closed the rest of the world out of our embrace. How had we even ended in this predicament? How had we, of all people, found each other in this hastily thrown together world of fate and separation? Our control was fading, our titles of strongest and hope slipped together into the dark recesses of our minds.

My lips slowly moved over his as his name slipped through them. "Eren," I brought them away, my mind slipping back into reality. This wasn't going to happen. This thing- this _relationship_- would draw everyone to question my role as their guardian- Eren's killer. "Eren," I repeated again, my head slipping to the crease between his shoulder and neck. "This won't end well. We can stop now and salvage what we had left."

Eren's chest rose sharply to touch mine as his breath hitched. "No."

"No?" I looked up and caught his eyes.

"I've wanted this to happen for the longest time. I want you to have me." Eren's swollen lips turned into a smile. "I love you, Heichou."

"Don't call me Heichou." I pushed him away, staring into his green orbs with all seriousness. "Someone who loves me would call me by my name- not my title."

"Levi," he breathed. I pulled him closer to me, feeling his hot breath on my face again. "Levi, I love you."

We fell together against the wall, our bodies fighting each other to touch the other's skin. I slipped off the top of his harness in a haze, pulling on the bottom of his shirt to release it from the hem of his pants. "You don't know what you're getting into."

"I don't care."

"Good, because I don't either."

I grabbed his bottom through his jeans and ground his hips against mine, causing him to moan lightly; the vibrations of his voice running along my tongue as I licked up his neck to end in a kiss below his jaw. I held back my own as his hands glided over the buttons on my shirt and released the first few. Eren purred against me as I kissed the sweet spot under his ear. I let out a throaty laugh against the skin of his neck, making him whimper. "I didn't take you as much of a cat, Eren."

"I-I-" Eren folded inwards against me as I cut him off, licking the shell of his ear. I smiled at his action; he was under my influence completely. He was cut off from the rest of the world, intoxicated with me as I was with him.

"A-Ah!" I nipped his ear lightly as I rubbed a hand gently over the bulge in his pants, then up to raise the fabric of his shirt to touch his torso. I made a face at him, one he knew to be disappointment. "Hei- Levi? What's wrong?"

I spoke between hurried kisses. "There's. Too much. Clothing. On. You." I kissed him deeply, distracting him from the fact that I now had him pressed against the wall and quickly losing possession of his shirt, being thrown over his head and clinging to the crooks of a chair. The trembling of his muscles excited me, making me want to touch more- to explore more of his undiscovered landscape. Eren pushed back against the kiss, trying to make it seem like he wasn't losing this battle. I ground my hips into him once again, making him back off as he broke the kiss with a quickly ended moan. His eyes became a cloud of passion as he pushed his hips into mine to increase the pressure.

"E-Eren. Stop," I gasp. "Stop moving." I kissed him again- in a partial beg- while holding his constantly moving hips still. "You're making this troublesome." I was struggling internally. I had this boy squirming against me, doing everything I asked. I wanted him to keep moving so badly, to continue the friction between us, but knowing somewhere in the back of my mind that if things moved along this fast, Eren wouldn't be able to last for very much longer being a boy of his… inexperience.

"Am I, Levi?" Eren smirked furiously, taking pleasure in my conflict. He stole a lick of sweat that dripped down my neck to settle in the notch of my collarbone.

I let out a groan, both in pleasure and annoyance at his disobedience. I slid off my gear, slowly, seductively letting it hang against my hips, not allowing the disobedient brat to have the pleasure in taking it off for himself. "Don't be a smartass." I picked up at the pace where we left off, him clinging to me tightly, his rapid breath rushing past my neck. I kissed along his jawline again, clearly void of any hair, then down to where I could feel his pulse quickening against the contact of my lips. I slowly worked my way out of his hold, lips brushing against the velvety skin of his chest, moving the single key out of my way. For a moment, I admired the way his muscles moved into my hand, pushing as much skin as he could into them. _I'm doing this to him_, I thought, proudly. _He's mine._ Eren 's muffled moans edged me to take in a single bud into my mouth, causing him to buck against me, his chest pressed out to urge me to take more.

"If you're going to make noises, "I kissed the red marks I had made around it, "then let me hear them." I stopped what I was doing, watching him pant heavily as he regarded me. "That's. An. Order."

Eren bit his lip as I continued, not wanting to make a noise. His moan made my heart shudder in my chest. His hands travelled over my shoulders and down my arms holding his hips against the wall so he couldn't make contact with me.

"H-Heichou, p-please."

I stood back from him, basking the state he was in. He was barely standing with knees that were bent against the strain of his own weight. His shirt was gone, his skin planted with markings of possession. His mouth was red and drooling from the corner, his skin a blushy shade of pink as his hands wound their way to the clear bulge in his pants as if he has just noticed its existence. I smirked at his innocence. "You're fucking pathetic. Did I not tell you to call me by my name?"

"L-Levi… _please_."

"'_Please_' what?"

"My body's… hot."

"Oh?" I smiled, watching his cheeks turn into a burning red colour. His eyes were half-lidded with lust and pleading. I pushed him softly onto the bed, hovering over him with my hands by his sides.

"W-Wait, Levi."

"What, brat? Chickening out already?" I got up as he did, watching him run to his discarded shirt and removing the string from the rings that normally held the top together. "Give me your hand."

"No way in fuck am I being tied up. I ain't into that kinky shit."

"Just give me your hand." I did as instructed. Curiously, he tied one end of the string to my pinky and the other to his own. "There."

I held it up, furrowing my brows. "The fuck is this?"

"Mikasa told me about this Red String of Fate once when we were children. Well, this isn't _red_, but the story goes that everyone is connected to their soul mate by this string tied on their pinkies. That way, you're destined to find them one way or another." He pushed his hand into mine, entwining our fingers together.

"Whatever," I whisper half-heartedly and Eren's face told me he could tell. I press empty words into the kiss, slowly bringing us both down onto the bed. Eren shifts upward towards the pillows and I let him go, following quickly in pursuit. We are held in the locked-lip battle, tongues spreading their word of urgency. We dropped our boots and the rest of our gear on the ground at the foot of the bed, cast aside with our boots that held them back. I undid the zipper of his pants, pushing a hand under all the fabric there.

Eren gasped, only capable of moaning into the pillow as he turned his head to the side, the same tied hand resting on mine as I stroked him. "Ah… hah… fuu... fuck… L-Levi." He moaned into my kisses. Hearing my own name spoken through the haze of pleasure made me needier. I wanted him to release at least once before, to relax him even the slightest bit for what was coming to him next.

"Levi!" Eren's body shuddered as I ran a thumb over the sensitive slit there, his voice shaking against my throat.

I pulled my hand from its confines, finding it covered with the milky white substance. "Disgusting," I held out the hand as far as I could from me. "Clean it."

"Eh?" Eren's eyes widened as I brought my fingers to his lips, his orbs still hazed over by the pleasure.

"Clean it," I repeated, more persistent this time. "You dirtied me; it's only respectful to clean your mess up." I was shocked as he did what I asked, hesitating only slightly as he licked my fingers one by one. He took great painstaking pleasure in swirling his tongue around them, watching as I tried to withhold any noise past a groan.

I pulled my hand back from his lips, smiling. I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of his pants, dragging everything with it. Before he could protest, I began licking the leftover fluids on his stomach, making sure I stayed tantalizingly close to his throbbing member. With fingers tangled in my hair, he brought me back to his lips, tasting his own sweet salty concoction on my tongue. His hands left my head, trying to get to my pants as well. I backed off, letting him undo it with trembling fingers.

"Eren?" He didn't meet my gaze. "Eren, are you okay?"

"I'm scared."

"I won't push you into doing something you're not ready for. You don't have to do this if you don't want to." I slapped myself mentally. If we stopped now, he would've gotten all the attention and I would be left with nothing but my own hands.

"I'm scared you'll leave me… after all this is done."

I hoped he could sense the reality of my words. "Eren. I told you I wouldn't leave you. I've become attached and now you'll only be mine."

"Then help me with your clothes… please?" I noted the string still connected to his hand. I obliged, shuddering with the cold air against my skin. I return to hover above him, just looking at his face. "What?" Eren asks nervously, his hands tempted to cover his face.

I didn't believe in this fated soul mate bullshit, but… if there was a chance that this was it, I didn't want to defy it. I settled between his legs, lowering to kiss him. We groan as our members touch slightly during the action, making goosebumps raise over our bodies. Eren, by fate or whatever it was, was here, under me in a halo of his own brown hair, giving me everything he possessed. Eren's hands tangled under my arms, pressing us both together with what minimal strength he possessed, connecting our skin more. I move to touch him everywhere and nowhere, memorizing everything that made up Eren- _my _Eren.

He let out a startled cry as I pushed a finger into his tight hole, fascinated as he pushed against me, urging me on. One quickly became two and then three as he moaned heavily underneath me, his voice echoing along the walls so I could hear it over and over again. I move against him, originally wanting to use my hand like last time, but having it stuck by Eren's head. I withdraw my fingers, kissing Eren again. I coax his body into the position I wanted it in, supporting myself as I adjust my hips so I nudge at his entrance. I freeze, watching Eren's reaction.

"Levi…" His hips move to meet me and I react by pushing into his hot, tight passage. I stop again, seeing him gasp in pain, bringing a hand to his mouth to bite down on.

I swat it away quickly. "If it's painful, bite on me. We don't want you to go titan on us now would we?"

"H-Hai." I lean down on my forearms, leaning flush against him before I push further into him. Eren takes full opportunity to bite down on the flesh between my shoulder and neck. I hiss in pain, stopping so he could get used to the feeling. His fingernails loosen their painful grip on my waist as well as his teeth which, thankfully, didn't break the skin. Pressing kisses to his face, I rock my hips against him slowly, his teary eyes reminding me to take it easy. Eren groans loudly as I nudge his sweet spot, bucking his hips into mine sharply. The energy between us rose as he cried out for me, the language of his body hurrying us into a lustful frenzy of kisses and moans of passion. His legs wrapped around my waist tightly, pushing me further into him than before. My heart swelled seeing the high he was on, abandoning his proudness as he showed me faces only I would be able to see; our titles vanishing as our animalistic need took over.

The sweat sliding down my back makes me shiver as I plunged deeper and deeper, trying to give every piece of myself to Eren as I could. Eren's voice grew loud with abandon, shouting my name loudly as his fluids covered the both of us. I covered my mouth with his as I come, shaking as I whisper his name into his ear, my seed spilling deep inside my lover.

I lifted myself from Eren, watching his chest, slick with sweat, heave up and down. His eyes are filled with tears and I could do nothing but kiss him.

"I'm sorry," I repeat against his shaking lips. "I'm sorry."

"I love you, Levi."

As we separated and lay covered with blankets, I watched him fall asleep, the key still wrapped around his neck. He snuggled into my arms which I wrapped around him willingly. Ignoring the filth that we were surrounded in, I held him close, stroking his sweaty brown hair as his breath became slow, slipping further and further into a blissful sleep.

I released my hand from his, holding it up in front of me. My eyes widened in shock as the string was no longer in one piece, but had snapped in two sometime in our lovemaking.

_The Red String of Fate… _

_Broke._


	9. Small Hints of Morning

Morning.

Such a simple statement included a multitude of things; the birds chirping against the blue sky, the waking faces of the humans within the wall as they rose in cream-veiled rooms, the titans regaining their movement as they normally would under the new light of day.

I stirred in my sleep, the flirting feeling of something off rubbing hiding somewhere in the back of my mind. Had I forgotten paperwork? I opened my eyes and immediately shut them again, the light attacking them harshly. I could feel the presence of someone behind my back.

_Right. Eren and I… _

I felt the brief touch of fingers trail down my side, lingering over my hips, pressing down into the tensing muscles. I kept immobile; more for the sake of curiosity than anything else. His fingertips kept along my hip bones then slowly, insecurely, moved the blankets back to look at my upper thigh.

Morning definitely wasn't the time for this, surely. "Oi, brat. Now's not the time to look at my ass." I didn't turn over, feeling him freeze up with only the sound of my voice. Truthfully, I hated when he did that. I wasn't a titan. I wasn't something to be feared. With the waking of my ears, I heard the small sound coming from the other side of the bed. At first, it sounded like a small rodent scurrying about the walls, then grew into a series of quick intakes of breath. I whipped around with a creak of the bed, turning to face the boy. His face was stained with tears which he furiously wiped away with the back of his hand as he met my gaze in embarrassment. I grabbed him quickly, pulling him into my chest where he stared with shock. Resting my head on the top of his messy hair, I felt him shake under my arms. The tears had started again. I sighed, letting him calm down for a minute before asking him what was wrong.

"I-I…"

I pulled us to a sitting position, and then, holding him by the shoulders, I ducked my head to meet his eyes. "Spit it out." _Too harsh. _I was the exact opposite of a morning person- whatever that was.

"H-Hai," he hiccupped, grabbing a handful of blankets to cover the exposed front of his body, pulling it up to his chest. My eyebrow twitched momentarily; pestered by the fact he was still embarrassed to be naked in front of me- especially considering the events of the prior night. "I saw your bruises."

"So what? Everyone bruises." I did have them, it seemed. I looked down at the thick bands of yellow-edged purple bands around my thighs and occasional red mark down the paler skin of my legs. I would never have flawless legs thanks to the godforsaken design of the maneuver gear, even after all these years. Not that it really bothered me. I was already a flawed individual; the bruises only working to mask the heavy scarring across my flesh from encounters of various kinds- thieving, knife, blades, pistols. You name it, I've probably been hit by it. Eren could thank my earlier years in the underground areas of the city for them later. "They weren't you're doing if that's what you're cryin' about." Although, there _were _some bruises down my back that I could feel emerging…

"That's not it," he sniffed heavily, looking down at the blanket covering his folded legs. "It reminded me of just how human you are. How easily you can get hurt and how easy I can lose you."

"Brat," I grabbed his face to make t look at me, "you shouldn't worry about me. I'm not going to die that easily."

"But you can't heal like I can. You can't magically repair anything; you can't be saved if you get eate-"

I kissed him, silencing this seemingly ritualistic habit of spewing random words out at anyone who would listen. I learned this carefully; most evidently starting from our encounter in the courtroom. I pulled back, his eyes widening as his fingertips brushed against his lips. "Are you good now?"

"Levi… I'm sorry."

"I don't care about fragility of my body. If I've lived this far, then I don't think I'm in any real danger in the near future. Besides, by regulation, you have to stay with me. So if I do screw up, you'll have to make sure I don't die." I stared into his green orbs, taken aback by the remaining innocence they still held. "Just like how I'll do the same for you."

"That's a huge responsibility."

"And being member of my squad isn't?"

"I meant being your lover."

"Is that what you're calling yourself?" I chuckled, putting a hand between his legs to stabilize myself as I leaned in towards him, the bed creaking underneath the added weight. "I actually don't mind that." I brushed my lips against his as he tried to move backwards. I backed out of the kiss that Eren probably assumed would have happened, instead whipping the blankets off of him. "Then don't be covering yourself up around me. I've already memorized it all." I got up as he gasped in shock, his cheeks blushing furiously underneath his hands.

I quickly found and jumped into my discarded garments, turning and facing my love with a smirk and infamously crossed hands. "Including that beauty mark right on your-"

"L-LEVI!" Eren threw the blankets up as he scrambled to hide behind his clothing as he grabbed them into his arms. He wasn't actually succeeding in covering anything up, much to my pleasure.

I strutted over to him, grabbing him by his waist, drawing him into me. I captured his lips in a deep kiss again, my heart still fluttering like it did last night. _So this isn't a fluke._

"This," I stated, snatching the white cravat from his clutch, "is mine."

"So am I."

"Yes, you are," I smiled. "_Brat_."

* * *

Congratulations, you might have noticed the shortness of this chapter.

No, you're not getting a fucking cookie, and no, it's not because that Sasha chick snuck and ate them all.

Well, the shortness is because I realized the gap between stories and because of shitty paperwork, I couldn't get a lot done. So, I quickly wrote this one up as a filler, if you will. I have some ideas of where I want to take this story, but I'd like your opinion- the reader, not you, Eren. Is this something that you enjoy reading or is it getting pretty shitty? Was there something you wanted to see in this that I haven't added or something you want to read more of?

I value the respect of my subordinates (you guys), and don't want to disappoint you with shitty work.

Fuck, that sounded sappy.

-Heichou


End file.
